"Well," you respond with enthusiasm, "I'm so excited right now. I avoid "well done" or "good job" for all the reasons Ive stopped saying "Im proud of you". 3. Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Proud Boys celebrate President Trump's callout to them during debate. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". You would have to know the whole story. "How long have you been sober?". Tell Them You Care. Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. But if someone says this to you, without further explanation, then it means that you are not a priority to them, they have other things that they are doing. This is a noble endeavor. I dont think my children have any problem with this because they know, in many other ways, I love them dearly. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. 2. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! (I'd prefer "Congratulations! I googled a sentence on this topic to see if anyone had written on it (hoping they had). So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Date TBA. 7. Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before stumbling. 6. 0. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! 1. Well cover some of the better responses you can give, like thanking them, making them feel special, or making them laugh. Last week, I went back to my college homecoming without my wife. Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. 24. 2. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. I was an ambitious student with a goal to attend university, which my father completely supported. I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. If a parent can say, Im proud of you, then can the parent also say the opposite , Children may become dependent on their parents (and others, such as teachers or grandparents) evaluation of their achievements. 2. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. 13. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". I would almost join FB in order to make the comment, Why are you proud and impressed? Be proud of you." - Oprah Winfrey 3. Is your partner proud because they can now be associated with a high achiever? 12. Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. Id opt for saying, Im happy for you. 1. Without you, I couldnt do it. If youre proud of me, buy me a pizza, then. Thanks. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . . Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. 1. Thank you so much! I was irritated by that remark. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. Interesting perspective. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. ), belonging to my close friend, on her business page. If someone calls you out for saying something offensive, remember that your intent can be different than your impact. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. "I know how you feel". May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. It makes a difference I think. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. I dont know that you provided a litmus test, but the article acted as such for me. But the Bible warns us against a self-centered, egotistical pride that says, "Look at me; look at . Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. Go To Homepage. But I gratuitously accepted his compliment. [Chorus] They say redemption's on your mind when you think about . I feel virtually murderous towards them. My friends tell me that rather often so like once every month or so, which I think is a lot, if you say it more often you'll take it for granted for sure. 3. Believe me when I tell you that it is not meant so kindly elsewhere. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. Im so glad to hear that. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Second, he must know you well. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. When your partner is mad at you, your flirty responses to I hate you will certainly make them laugh. until recently when a Goddaughter won an amazing internship, beating 2000 other applicants, and her other Godmother put a message on Facebook saying how proud she was of her. Dear! It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. The key words (for this discussion) are creditable to oneself. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. If you teach someone maths and they pass their exam same thing they are good because they have taken notice of your teaching. Initially this sit didnt sit well with me. 9. The proud feeling transcends from child to parent. I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Thanks, buddy! Who is saying this to whom? So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? Here subject and object are the same person. Immune Response. Better than nothing, Neil, but its sad, Mr. Rogers had to do what parents ought to be doing. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. "I'm so proud of you" In this sentence, "proud" being translated to is absolutely right, and is also OK. A Summer Like No Other - Bushfires, Fear, Famly, Hope and Change, Preparing To Say Goodbye Even As I Hug Hello, When I Realised That Being A Parent To An Adult Is Different To Being A Parent Of A Child, Setting Limits Sets Limits On Children Learning to Discipline Themselves, Learning to Take The Back Seat As A Parent, As My Child Moves To Adulthood, Am I Treasuring The Moments? 1. And guess what? You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. What do they perceive - when a parent (or teacher) says "Im proud of you"? Don't remind them how far they've come. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. B Blue Apple Senior Member Im proud of myself, too. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. For me, this was a huge take-away moment. 14. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. Here are some examples of what you shouldn't say to someone on their sober anniversary. They didn't have to do that. Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . implying a mentor relationship. (a short read). Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". But it had a very positive impact on this one child. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. John decides to replicate his painting (for the reward of praise, not for his own sense of improvement and competence), and looks up at his mother with rapturous expectation. Ah. . Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. Thank you so much. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. Even if the other person's words and/or actions seem reprehensible, try to be as . You cannot be proud of anything you were born with, only with what you achieve. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. I know Im a couple of years behind, but was thinking about it this morning. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre reinforcing the positive behavior that you want to see in yourself and others. And why should I stop using this phrase? What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. About 5 years ago, an ex college girlfriend and I began emailing each other occasionally (not often just once every 2-3 months or so). 5. Be proud that you are here. However Simon Cowell for instance often says he is proud of a contestant he has never met before. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! Just the way you look and react to your husband can give the impression that you are honored to be his wife. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. An FBI witness says that members of the far-right Proud Boys had hoped to assassinate Vice President Mike Pence and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi during last week's violent storming of the U.S . Thats my life goal. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". It seems to me that the authors of the study used the phrase 'I'm proud of you' as a catch-all measurement, to reflect a parent's emotional connection with, and support, for, their child - and that it was this emotional involvement that provided protection against suicidal ideation. By the fifth repeat of the painting, the response from him mother may quite different from the first. ". But arguing about what words mean is pointless- meanings vary. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. Pause before responding. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. 8. Don't disguise it as concern, either. 2. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Proud Boys chairman Enrique Tarrio poses with a Proud Boys member at a rally in Delta Park in Portland, Oregon, on September 26, 2020. You must log in or register to reply here. facilitator, with over 1000 parents completing the course with her. In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. 1 y. Maybe instead of telling me hes proud of me, like its such a surprise, maybe he should have just offered to do the dishes. They may start to see their parent as being insincere, or even manipulative. Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. If its a long-term relationship, the mentor will genuinely care. Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. Great to hear this. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Family Tree. I think you deserve the credit for this all. I'm so proud of your painting!" They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. (I'd prefer "Wow, that must have taken some thought and courage! . Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. 1. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. I am so lucky to have you in my life and your . Your email address will not be published. Instead, I try implementing the approach from Parent Effectiveness Training (PET), a peaceful, gentle approach to parenting, that teaches respectful communication skills, and offers alternatives to using rewards (such as praise), or punishments (such as saying "Im disappointed"). And Ill encourage them to be proud. "Always work hard, be honest, and be proud of who you are.". The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. . I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. 1. Get your facts straight. People Who Say These 5 Words Have Very Low Emotional Intelligence. God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. I don't think you . What if you really are proud of the person? No. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. 6. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. relationship advice marriage advice Women love advice. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. The Four Words That Can Protect Your Child's Mental Health, Parenting Behaviours Linked to Suicide Amongst Adolescents, How to let your children know you are proud of them (Very Well Family), First published 28th August, 2014. Exactly the information I was looking for thank you! So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. So happy for us! I was actually kicked out of my house at 16 by her and her new husband and had financial trouble during my years in school that she had contributed to, how in the hell can she be proud of me when all she did was hinder me? A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. 3. Stay in the know when we release new content! Language gets corrupted. For Stein, the worst compliment is hearing: "You've lost soooo much weight! 4. Thank you all, too. It's a pleasure to congratulate you on this lovely moment. I now understand that its because I dont feel superiority over anyone, and Im perfectly happy with that . "Nothing is ever wrong. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. 12. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. When we avoid the phrase Im proud of you, we allow our children to be their own person, to grow to their own potential - in a relationship of mutual respect. It may not display this or other websites correctly. One of the wives of these manual labourers had befriended me in church and was an older woman. I teach high school. The same trope appears in many childrens movies (Babe, Mulan)is there anything more important to a child than their parents love and approval? Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. Facebook: Please join us on our Facebook page for a mix of articles on children and parenting. I admire your ability to ___________. The Next Giant Leap. In what context? 10. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. She and I are both married. PJ. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". But I would also add another category: people who know you well *because* they have worked with you and even for you for a long time. But is that really very useful? Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. I realized that I needed to open myself up to friends and partners as well. Whatever I did, I just did it for our friendship, Bro. He may not have been able to think of something better or funny so he settled for that. What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? She states I always tell someone I am proud of them. Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. To try to sum this up, I mrried and ended up in a small, isolated village filled with people who either did not graduate high school or barely achieved that level of schooling. #8: They say you need to change. I dont think there is a neutral position. It remains condescending and arrogant. Compare: "Oh bear!" Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. I thought who gave you the superiority, you seem to be giving yourself for my accomplishment My friend didnt understand. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Future Planet. Instead of these phrases, focus on how proud you are of the person. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. Thank you. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. . Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! . Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. As a friend I want you to know that I am so proud of you. I also told her I had a great time & that she picks up my spirits. but you do play a role in their success! Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. 4. I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor.
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