Bokuto missed Akaashi's set twelve times. Akaashi is a former intern in this hospital, and he loaths it. This time, a weak sound left Bokuto's throat through a closed mouth, and he nodded. Or maybe not brooding, but more along the lines of apathetic. They were the only two in the gym. "I'm supposed to be here, actually. and inhaled with frailty. It lit Bokuto's face up just enough for Akaashi to take in those healthy features that were staring back at him. Surprised, Akaashi gave Bokuto his attention again. Out in the dead of night stood Bokuto, with the burgundy knit scarf around his neck, a jacket, jeans, and slippers. I know that I'm a lost cause. externally i'm smiling probably because i'm trying to hide all those FEELS. A genuine expression made its home on Akaashi's features, and a hand reached up to push through his raven locks. He was only a blurred shape now, but Akaashi knew he was still there. Bokuto looked down at Akaashi's hand. Swiftly, Akaashi closed the window, having gathered just enough snow off the edge for him to show to Bokuto. "About three hours." Someone with DID has multiple, distinct personalities. The taller, dark haired male gestured to them. this is seriously the most depressing thing in the world. ", "I'm" Kenma's lips puckered in thought. He didn't want to. The condition can cause memory loss, delusions or depression. i was disappointed they didn't fricking kiss and bokuto's death is just the saddest thing in the world. He held the same position and felt himself dozing off "I'm sorry." Akaashi went straight into the reading. He could feel Bokuto's chin rubbing against the top of his head, like it always did. "I don't Know much about this Disease. Just as those words left Akaashi's mouth, the clouds outside parted, allowing the setting sun's orange light to flood into the room. The stranger could have been a patient at the hospital for all Akaashi knew, and the last thing he needed was a sickly acquaintance to add to his already short list of friends. Bokuto mouthed an "Okay," before backing up several steps. Kuroo scratched the back of his head. ", "Don't think so. All he had to offer was a, "The pleasure is mine," before moving forward to try and usher Bokuto back into his room. He hung his head and tried to keep his crying controlled in the best way possible, but this proved to be very difficult as sobs broke out of him, causing his entire being to shake. rockin' the west coast prayer group; easy bulky sweater knitting pattern. Here we are. He paused for a moment, then spoke up again. What?" It was soft. More than 100,000 cattle were confirmed infected. "What was the dream about?". "That's Fine with me." Akaashi cocked his head back to demonstrate this, with his finger tapping his chin. It took every fiber of his being to keep his voice from trembling. Akaashi pulled a solemn face and closed the laptop. He held onto the IV stand with one hand and Akaashi's hand with his other as he hobbled over to the window. I knew this was the most notorious/popular fic in the Haikyuu!! Akaashi sat up straight and composed himself. They asked about the blanket and the scarf, but they never asked about Bokuto. Akaashi doubted that he'd ever have Bokuto over again, so hearing him say 'I'll have to watch it again,' didn't sit too well with him. so this is basically a bokuaka au where bokuto and akaashi meet at a hospital and bokuto has this disease which they haven't found a cure for yet. His body jerked with each sob that was torn from him, his frame curling to bring himself closer. Akaashi shared a bench with Kenma. Storms trigger them.". Another breath escaped him, slow and casual, but he'd soon learned to hold his breath when he noticed another person sitting outside in the hall, several feet from the room, where visitors could spend their time. He looked up, gazed at Akaashi past his bleached blonde bangs, and straightened his back in the slightest way possible. He turned his head slowly to look at Bokuto, and watched him as he lay in his arms. His face still wore the same shade of red, but he no longer minded this. "And nothing you say will make me leave.". He stalked over to the other side of the bed, where he would be able to look at Bokuto's face. Bokuto didn't make a sound. Despite this, Bokuto was still close enough for their arms to touch. "I didn't Want you to leave. The black haired male looked up from his hands. He forced himself to stand after some time, tapping his fingers against his pants. Do something Akaashi closed his mouth and swallowed. [I must have texted you while you were asleep!]. Devastation weighed down on Akaashi in that instant. "Kuroo?" Bokuto blinked slowly. He said in a hushed voice. He could feel his heartbeat thumping hard against his chest, as if it wanted to break free. Bokuto's head lolled to the side, directing his attention back to the movie. He gripped his phone in his hand and took in a deep breath, filling his lungs with all the air that he could before he exhaled through his nostrils. I finished this months ago but it still hurts and just thinking about it makes me cry. "Good night." ", Akaashi turned his head to face Kuroo. stardustcrusader28 i would have to research more about the disease, but bokuto was probably suffering all that day, slowly decaying more and more until he couldn't sustain himself anymore and passed away. Both hands had clasped around Bokuto's own now, quavering without pause. He turned his attention back to the only other in the room. Why must I always run into the strange ones? He was grinning. He eyed the blonde one for quite a while. There was silence, and then there was a sound. He found it much too difficult to say no to Bokuto, but it had to be done. [Yeah! He was now more curious than he'd ever been before. His company did not seem like the type to socialize so openly, so he figured simple inquiries would do just fine, especially if he kept them to a minimum. He feared that if he did, he wouldn't be able to keep his emotions at bay. You need to be protected.". He did the only thing that he could and nodded again, then closed his eyes, and slightly turned his head away. I don't think I've ever heard you laugh, or seen you smile for that matter. So I'll just say bye for him! "Akaashi Keiji." 61.7K 2.6K 3.9K. He waved and jogged out, knowing that if he didn't hurry, he'd have to spend several more minutes trying to catch up to a wandering Kenma. He seemed to be unfazed by many things, and blatant about others, blurting sentences out that didn't seem to have much thought behind them. He waited for an answer, but did not receive one. He was the only person who could get him through those horrible moments, after all. He wouldn't always get answers, Akaashi was aware of this, but he would still ask him things. He didn't get a response, nor did he see any signs of responding. It was the longest minute he'd ever been forced to sit through. "Are you sure you should be going out in the cold like that?". During the next day, Akaashi decided to stay home. After several minutes, Akaashi closed his laptop and lay back on his bed. Cold. Staring down wide-eyed at the floor of the hospital room, Bokuto fought to find words. He'd usually ask yes or no questions, ones that were easy for Bokuto to answer with a nod or shake of the head. His arms and legs were stiff, as were his eyes. That was, until he saw a familiar face. When the screen lit up, a text message from Bokuto waited there for him. It was frustrating, it was infuriating, and it was overall saddening, but Akaashi could not show any of this. "What's the big deal? Kuroo? Bokuto's head lay against Akaashi's shoulder. However, he is initially listless and pessimistic about his operation, as he has no will to live, thinking . Akaashi sighed. "Thank you, Koutarou." Several flakes had gathered on the outstretched limb, but they were not quick to melt. Bokuto looked up, surprised, and glanced back down at the snack in his hands. Akaashi inhaled slowly. It wasn't long before Akaashi had leaned his head on Kuroo's shoulder, as he, too, fell victim to the sorrow that slowly ate him alive. He was trying to tell Akaashi something else. People keep saying they cried at the ending but i'm just here dry eyed. He opened it and pulled one out. Akaashi literally found nothing special about Bokuto. He stared in Bokuto's direction, at him this time. ", "Well if you've watched it seven times then why not watch it an eighth time? "Yeah. "He turned twenty only three months ago", Akaashi lowered his head. He exerted more force into his arms, getting Bokuto to take a step back. Bokuto inhaled all that he could. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. [I'm excited for you to come over tomorrow! "Do you want to watch a movie?". "Get inside." Finding a breath between his laughter, Akaashi managed to speak. ", "Because it's three in the morning and I want to fit some sleep into my schedule. I don't want to read them. It wasn't until Akaashi looked up from his laptop screen that he realized it was snowing heavily outside. He tried to aim for it at the very least, but found it difficult to. He quickly got up from the bed and walked off. "Don't call me that." Akaashi woke up to the feeling of sunlight against his face. This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers. Akaashi stirred in bed slightly and let out a weak grunt. He faked a smile. Where most people would detach themselves, Bokuto took hold and wouldn't let go, being as persistent as he was energetic. Akaashi reached his arms out and pushed Bokuto away. He held an air around him as if he were having a normal conversation about the weather. 5/5 porque cuando lo le me dejo destrozada, no conozco la felicidad desde que le esto, nie wiem w sumie jak to sie stao ale faktycznie sie poryczaam XDDD, Im still crying I loved this but also fu to literally everyone on the internet telling me I needed to read this. Was he just playing the fool after all? Just then, as Akaashi bit down on the inside of his lower lip, he turned his head in time to catch a glimpse of Kenma lowering his head towards Bokuto. Bokuto spoke, his voice peaceful. Alarmed, he snapped around quickly. Bokuto smiled wide to those words. He felt his heart rate accelerate, and his throat tightened as his vision blurred. Many words dashed through his mind, but he could only think of three that would be best for him to say to Akaashi. Akaashi continued to read on. He turned his head towards the window, away from Akaashi. Inhaling deeply, Akaashi lingered in place, then sat down in the empty seat next to Kuroo. This did not faze him, however, as Bokuto only closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, allowing the burn of the winter air to fill his lungs. "So I figured if you left now You Wouldn't have to And it wouldn't h-hurt so much". He took his time, the thought of removing it killing him faster than the disease itself. He lay on his back, with his head on some of Akaashi's pillows. "I wanted to do s-so many things". "No is my final answer." His hand trembled harder with each passing second, as if the movement would cause Bokuto to wake up. He returned Bokuto's gaze, then looked down quickly afterwards. He placed a hand on his broad back and rubbed gently, hoping to comfort him and to be the stronger of the two. He didn't want to be the one to say no to someone who had little to nothing left in his life. He gave a mock swing of his arm, as if spiking. Surely enough, he noticed Kenma sitting in the seat next to Bokuto's bed. The sound of the palm of Bokuto's hand meeting the ball sounded much like an explosion. They were fingers. "Bokuto," he whispered. Not after this. It's so good that I hate it so much because the sheer amount of pain it caused me. Akaashi lifted his head in subtle interest. He feared he wouldn't be able to pull himself out of this state, but then it occurred to him that he was not alone in this. Akaashi's arm cautiously wrapped itself around Bokuto's broad shoulders. ", Shrugging one shoulder, Akaashi grabbed his phone. He pressed send and watched the phone carefully, waiting for the small ellipses to appear on the lower left side of the screen. No one. Akaashi swiped and unlocked his phone with trembling hands. Your interest is always appreciated. At one point, he reached a hand up to grab the beanie off of his head, and he aimlessly chucked it to the ground with force. A stronger laugh broke out from him, rattling his body as he lay down in bed. He repeated the same phrase, finding that it was difficult to search for words at the time. Akaashi did not give him time to react to this as he moved closer still, and when he was close enough, he lowered his head to lean it on Bokuto's shoulder. Once Akaashi had left the hospital, he never looked back. With a heavy heart, he spoke. He stared down at the screen, his brow furrowing slightly. "What doesn't?" "I didn't think you were going to make it today." His eyes read. But he couldn't keep it up forever. I am weak.If anyone here has also watched, and enjoyed, the movie Cloud Atlas, then I hope this hits closer to home than usual.I really hope that whoever reads this enjoys. His heart beat a mile a minute, he found it difficult to swallow, and one of his legs bounced up and down rapidly. We're friends." After that night, things had only gone downhill from then. "I Don't Usually text," Akaashi murmured. Akaashi couldn't sleep, but it wasn't because of his unfamiliarity with Bokuto that caused this. Bokuto's eyes widened. "It's been over three hours, actually. "I'm often busy. "I was the team captain, and the ace." He then stared at Akaashi, waiting for his response. And with that glint came his smile. If you watched Haikyuu, and anime, I would definitely recommend this ebook. Akaashi felt his chest rise. Akaashi lifted his head and looked to his side. He rubbed the back of his neck. Unless Bokuto was purposely playing the fool. Kuroo bid Bokuto farewell for the time being, while Kenma made his way downstairs to exit the building. Slipping his head down to Bokuto's chest, Akaashi leaned against his frail frame. "Shit- shit." He tossed the navy blue one to Bokuto, remembering how fond he was of it the last time he'd come over. Akaashi stuffed the sheets into his bag. He reached into his pocket to fish out his phone, and pushed call on one of his contacts. Bokuto no longer smelled like a hospital. ], [I see. So then why was he so cheerful about his entire situation? His breathing was heavy, his heart rate quicker than usual; Akaashi could feel his heart pounding in his throat, making it difficult to swallow. It had been the same guy he'd almost bumped into Perhaps he'd remained in the hall and watched as Akaashi had gone from a brisk walk to a sudden stop. At times, Akaashi would look through the conversations that he'd shared with him. "Ah. He furrowed his brow and exhaled heavily, his eyes looking down. Bokuto followed briskly. "I envy you. He pulled a mock cool expression, but this was cut short as someone else spoke up. Akaashi watched as the screen went to black, and it was then that he placed the phone back on his nightstand, choosing to ignore the message. Tried so hard to keep himself together, but he knew he was too weak to pull such a bluff. Bokuto stared at Akaashi sharply. Exhaling through his nostrils, Akaashi reclaimed his seat in bed, crossing his legs. I never asked to be emotionally destroyed . It was a reaction that Akaashi was not expecting in the least, but he played off his surprise and only managed an, "I see.". His thumb aimlessly hovered over the keyboard, thinking of what to type. "My room is this way.". Akaashi had nothing else to say. "They Aren't really there, are they?" He's an okay guy. Akaashi pressed play, and a video of Kuroo started to play. He could still see Bokuto's hand, and it had frozen in place. Thin lips pressed into an even thinner line. Bokuto was bursting with emotion. He pulled himself closer to Bokuto, and nudged his face into the warmth of his neck. Akaashi was unhappy with where he was, unhappy with what it was that he was doing. Another person walked by at a gradual pace at first, then slowed progressively as they drew near. Those yellow eyes examined everything, adamant with taking all of it in. "Akaashi?" All he cared about was the fact that Bokuto was still with him, next to him, breathing, alive. I think the ending is up to interpret, but this is what I thought of. fandom for a reason, but reading it hit so much harder than I anticipated. A mere two minutes outside had turned into two hours. Akaashi pulled Bokuto back inside. It works for me as well. "There is no known cure, huh?" It was so weak and feeble, it could barely be heard, but it was there, and Akaashi could hear it, so that was enough for Bokuto. Bokuto nodded frantically and forced himself to comply with Akaashi, as he always did. Akaashi stared through the stranger. He removed his slippers and waited at the entrance for his friend to enter. He then tossed it to Bokuto once he was close enough. Akaashi muttered. ", "When I said that it would be a tough mess for them to clean up" Akaashi sounded genuinely confused. "We were actually just talking about stepping outside. He touched his forehead to Bokuto's shoulder, which only earned a laugh from him. It never failed to comfort Akaashi. 299K 5.7K 29.5K. ", "I get panic attacks when you're not around," Bokuto answered simple-mindedly. ], [I don't know any other way to put it. It took some time, but he finally answered. You'll still be the best. Confused, Bokuto glanced over at him. "It's just how I am. Bokuto chortled quietly and placed his head back on Akaashi's shoulder. His head hung low, and his attention belonged only to the handheld system that entertained him. He spoke just loudly enough for Bokuto to hear him. The sky burned a strong, orange glow as the sun set in the distance. He smiled. He'd only spoken to Kuroo once before, and they barely exchanged any words. He rubbed his hands together weakly and tilted his head to the side. But Akaashi knew full well that such a thing wasn't possible with Bokuto's condition. "You don't. Kenma's unconcerned tone contradicted his words, but something told Akaashi that he meant everything he was saying. His tired eyes were on Akaashi. DID is usually caused by past trauma. He strode to him quickly, cupping the already melting snow in his hands. You like volleyball too?! They made him feel nauseous to a point where he had to sit up in bed and swallow deep, slow breaths in order to cool himself down, and he did just that, reaching his hands up to rub at his eyes before taking a tense look around his room. Bokuto grumbled to himself. "Alright." At other times, he would just tell him things that were on his mind. Judging by his still trembling hands, he knew he wasn't. Akaashi stared on as his mind searched for words. A mere two minutes outside had turned into two hours. "You were out for about an hour.". A puff of smoke came from him as he exhaled. ], [I guess. Juli 2022 . He dreamt of how Bokuto had buried himself into the navy blue blanket to watch the movie that played on the laptop screen, and how he held Bokuto in his arms that night to aid him in his attempt to sleep. btw, HERES THE DISCORD SERVER!! He focused on nothing Something he remembered Kenma doing. Why do I let him do this? The ball was tossed back to him, and again, he got back to tossing the ball for Bokuto. This one.". He almost didn't want to come today, either. "What is it? His hands twitched once, and he moved closer, leaning into Bokuto's touch. His golden eyes searched the room for Akaashi. But as he spoke about his favorite scene, Akaashi could sense a powerful vibe coming from him One that wasn't there before. And I d-don't want you to See it all h-happen.". This would have me to conclude that he had Bipolar 1, or possibly Cyclothymia Disorder, which has brief periods of mania and depression. which ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY BROKE ME TO PIECES. In the past, he'd always get sort of tense and paranoid whenever a storm would pass over head, but that was kind of it. Akaashi woke with a start that same night, his strangled shouts having pulled him from his sleep. It was then that he started to inaccurately press at words that he was trying to make out. The pain seared itself into his soul, hindering him, rendering him speechless to a point where he no longer knew what words were. If you love sci-fi shows, then there is one thing you have in common with Netflix.In the plethora of content that it releases every month, the streaming service seems especially invested in the sci-fi genre. Akaashi groaned softly and covered his face. The drastic weight loss was awful enough, but as if to add insult to injury, Bokuto's worsening condition also made it increasingly difficult for him to walk, move, and speak. I thought it was what you wanted". He was trying to, he truly was, but he just couldn't. Frankly speaking, it had no affect on him in the slightest. Akaashi already knew where he had to go. Don't worry about it.". "You're too loud, be quiet." "You've had two panic attacks this week already, and your hallucinations are getting worse. He used to be thicker. ", "I am. He then reached out and took hold of Bokuto's arm to help him back to the bed. I wish I could sleep like that again.". Bokuto shifted as he lay down, sticking a leg out to kick Akaashi. ", "I Don't know." Very much." He was kind of difficult to keep up with, and Akaashi felt like this would be a long term sort of thing. ], [I would hope so. Akaashi kicked his legs out of bed with much effort and stood on his feet. "Awful." Other than those things, Bokuto found it nearly impossible to stomach anything else. "Keep doing what you're doing." "Yeah, but for all the wrong reasons." It would cause less spasms to grip Bokuto's body, allowing him to unwind more than he usually could. "Well, I'll be going now.". Bokuto's voice was soft, measly, and carried no force to it. "No you haven't. [Uh, sure. He slowly lowered his head and folded his arms. He said lightheartedly, his fingers trembling around his phone. "Close your eyes for the time being." Kuroo looked at Akaashi sideways. He instead allowed his actions to speak for him. The stranger could have been a patient at the hospital for all Akaashi knew, and the last thing he needed was a sickly acquaintance to add to his already short list of friends. He watched Bokuto with a wary gaze, unaware of what he was to say next. i like how you see the main character develop through their friendship and idk, it made me feel like they were soulmates who had a positive impact on each other. "I don't want to." He suffered no nightmares, nor did he see anything remotely close to a dream. Dissociative identity disorder (DID) is a mental health condition. Bokuto and Kuroo continued to talk animatedly, the both of them out of earshot. They were still wrapped up in whatever conversation they were having. Work Search: "I just came from there. It took a moment for Bokuto to focus on him. He turned his head to look out the window, eyeing the moon timidly. They both found it easier to believe in that lie than to accept the truth of what was to come. Akaashi was close to holding his breath before Bokuto had finally drew his hand back. With much effort, he sat up to look at Bokuto. The room was dark, apart from the soft orange glow that his lamp gave off. He was cool to the touch colder than most. Akaashi glanced in the direction of where Bokuto was staring. He could practically hear the frown in his voice. The bedsheets crumpled beneath his hands. "Three words? There was that, and the fact that Akaashi couldn't help but find Bokuto's smile endearing, no matter how sickly he looked when he wore one. He held it in his shaking hands and closed his eyes in an attempt to try and find sleep again. "And my hallucinations aren't all that bad. The hand that supported his weight against the windowsill trembled without pause, and his other remained outside, shaking in the cold dead of night. He moved in his seat and sat straight against the head of the bed, then looked down at Bokuto. He brought a hand up to push through his black hair, and slowly, his head fell forward. " Are you here to see Bokuto Koutarou?" In time, Kuroo and Kenma found that it was time for them to make their way back home. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. "Of course! He set the drinks down and shuffled into bed, as if trying not to wake the other. "I'd dream that I messed up during a spike, and then I'd wake up fuming, and would constantly tell myself that I was the best.". "If you would please listen." He'd never heard of that disease before. Bokuto stared off in the distance from beyond the net, his face carrying a confused expression. Bokuto refused to budge. He started on his way without so much as a second glance in the other's direction. Sunlight broke into the room, cascading all along the walls and floor, and casting shadows all around. He didn't get up to alert the nurses, or the doctors, or anyone in the hospital. "Akaa-sh- d-don't-" Bokuto struggled with his breathing. His voice was low. He was shocked. It took time for Akaashi's words to reach him, but when they finally did, his face lit up as he broke out in laughter. The hospital AU that no body asked for, but that I took upon myself to write. He stretched and stifled a yawn, pushed a hand through the mess that was his hair, and relaxed his head against Akaashi's shoulder. "I have to go, Bokuto." ", Akaashi clenched his jaw behind a mildly irritated face. That night, he dreamt of the first night Bokuto had come over his home. Bokuto was elated. In dismay, Bokuto sat up in bed and slowly reached around his neck to pull off the warm piece of cloth. Akaashi pursed his lips and nodded once. Bokuto has round, golden-colored eyes and spiky white-grey hair with black streaks; certain sections of it are done up as if to vaguely conform to that of an animal, strongly amplifying the uncanny resemblance he bears to a horned owl.
